ERFOLGSKEKS in April – not ready yet!

Why to be READY is the most important for change!

At ERFOLGSKEKS we often talk about recipes: SUCCESS RECIPES.

Just as a biscuit or cake is made up of different components, or rather ingredients, the recipe for success also depends on certain components. Only then can it function sustainably.

„Backe Backe Kuchen“ – A German Nursery Rhyme

You probably know the nursery rhyme. “Backe, backe Kuchen…” This song calls for seven ingredients to make a good cake. Here are the (German) lyrics again as a reminder:

Backe, backe Kuchen

Der Bäcker hat gerufen

Wer will guten Kuchen backen

Der muss haben sieben Sachen

Eier und Schmalz,

Zucker und Salz,

Milch und Mehl.

Safran macht den Kuchen gehl.

Schieb, schieb in’n Ofen rein!

There is an easier way. A quick cookie recipe

You also need ingredients for the cookies. I would like to select the British Flapjacks as an example. A simple basic recipe of butter, sugar and rolled oats is the basis of what makes a delicious and even almost healthy cookie.

If you like, you can add almonds, vanilla sugar, or raisins. This is the luxury version. If you love chocolate, you can also add a few pieces of this dark delight. So you see: actually quite easy to do flapjacks, right?

You can’t do without butter!

You can change a lot on the flapjacks. You can always make them better, cuter and more interesting. But without butter? For vegans, simply always replace with margarine. Nothing works without butter. The oat flakes fall apart just as you put them in the baking bowl. Nothing works without butter!

And so it is with every recipe. A component that holds everything together. One component ensures that all other components really have an effect. That the recipe as a whole creates something better than the individual ingredients can ever be. Oatmeal is good on its own; flapjacks are better!

What can and must not be missing in your recipe for success?

In a figurative sense, this is also the case with baking success cookies. Very specific ingredients are necessary to create a well-functioning recipe from the individual components. Let’s take a look at this with an example.

Flapjacks – you can’t do without the butter. Butter holds everything together in this cookie recipe. Your inner will is the “butter” of personal change.

My client L.O. – a success cookie that isn’t one yet!

LO is in a leading position. She has two small children (both in kindergarten) and a somewhat shaky relationship with her partner, who is not the children’s father. LO stuck in the rush hour of life. She has to make decisions. Must decide what is important to her, whether children or a career; whether to continue living alone or with the (unloved) partner. Much is pending, much should be decided. If only there was time!

LO always on the hamster wheel. LO always says she needs to change something. But then not much happens. LO talks about her situation. Seeks out those responsible for her misery (the boss, the partner), but she is not yet in a position to change her situation.

LO lives and searches on the outside – a success cookie with a long road to success.

LO needs a space to share their situation. Then she jumps out of her wheel for a short time, takes 1, 2 hours to lament about her life, and then goes back to her previous hamster wheel. And just as fast or faster to drive this wheel. The wheel keeps spinning and L.O. tries to keep up all the time. With the drama, with the pain and all the lost energy that accompanies this process.

At the moment I can only be a good friend to LO. One that  listens and gives cautious impulses. But LO is still a long way from daring to take the big step and stand next to the hamster wheel, to observe the processes and responsibilities in this wheel, and to stop or change this wheel on your own responsibility. 

Why can LO not do that yet? She has to realize that only she can take responsibility for her role at the wheel.

Not ready yet: LO needs a little time for her personal success cookie

LO is searching for ingredients that will make her life easier. But before LO will climb to the next level, she has to deal with what happened, to think clearly about what she could do to change her current situation.

However, she is not necessarily ready for the advice of others or even to take this advice. But she looks at what others are doing; she sees what can be possible for them. She begins to look to the future and hopes that there is a brighter future for her and her children.

LO slowly starts to try different things for himself. But sustainability is missing!

LO is doing something for herself. Yes, she is making steps in the right direction. Instead, for example, of going back to her desk or to the office hectically and quickly, she now consciously uses the way back from daycare as a relaxing and energizing morning walk. She can recharge her batteries and reach an unknown level of relaxation in a very short time.

LO does things to help himself. However, motivational spurts alternate with procrastination. Sometimes the guilt we feel leads clients like LO to give up the growth of their personality very quickly and fall back into old habits.

At some point, clients like LO have enough stress and trouble in their life to be ready for their change.

It is often a health breakdown that reminds women that “taking care of themselves” is not selfish, but ensures that family, partnership and business life can run stress-free and smoothly.

LO has enough! Now her own intrinsic motivation is so great that she is willing to do whatever it takes to change to get out of a situation that she can no longer bear. She is ready! She wants to change!

Ingredient list for success: Back to butter!

For LO her health breakdown was the event that “forces” her to do so from the inside out, finally the old, unhelpful behavior of self-abandonment and self-denial of their needs against the demands of the “outside” (work, family,…) and their own exaggerated demands in to give up inside. This willingness to change is the secret ingredient in the recipe for success. This is the ingredient that cannot be missed!

If this inner will, the willingness to change, is there, then the recipe will work 100%. The butter holds the oatmeal together. It doesn’t matter whether you add sugar or raisins, almonds or vanilla sugar or even eggs. The recipe for LO gets better with every additional ingredient. But without butter, without their own willingness to change, the result will not be sustainable.

Be ready: Don’t let it burn you out!

Have a conversation now and together we will work out which ingredients are already available for your individual recipe for success.

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